


The Secret's Out

by fifty_fifty



Series: Keeping Secrets [4]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Coming Out, Frottage, Hand Jobs, M/M, Modern Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:15:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27313201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fifty_fifty/pseuds/fifty_fifty
Summary: “Will you help me?” Arthur asked as he stroked the arch of Merlin’s foot.Merlin looked over at him and frowned. “With what?”“Coming out.”Merlin sat up straighter. “I thought you didn’t want to.”“I just… I’m worried about them judging me, after the way I used to be. And I just… I don’twantit to be a big deal. I just— I wish it could be over with already. I wish it could be simpler.”“Why can’t it?” Merlin asked. He licked his lips distractingly, Arthur’s eyes tracing every movement before he continued. “I can’t help but think that you’ve built this up in your head, over and over again until it’s become this big, huge thing. But it doesn’t have to be. You don’t owe anyone an explanation. You don’t need to do a big announcement. We could just… be together?”
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Series: Keeping Secrets [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/877836
Comments: 14
Kudos: 168
Collections: Tavern Quest 1: Merlin Frottage Fest





	The Secret's Out

Arthur sat down at the table and suppressed a sigh. He had been dreading having lunch with Morgana today, but it was tradition. They did it once a month, without fail, so long as Arthur was in the country. So it wasn’t like he could skip out on it. And he certainly wasn’t going to schedule an unnecessary month-long trip to escape it, not when that would also mean a month without Merlin. That was the last thing he wanted.

“Hello, brother dearest,” cooed Morgana as she slid into the vacant chair and picked up the menu.

“Morgana,” he said, giving her a curt nod.

“How are things in the financial world?” she asked, also feigning interest in the menu. 

Arthur knew he was in deep shit. He could sense the tension in the air, as though Morgana were a shark, circling bloodied water, and yet he was helpless to do anything but wait for the axe to fall and Morgana to pounce.

“Awful. But it's hard for it to be anything other than that right now. It’ll right itself.”

Morgana hummed in agreement.

“How’s your week been?” Arthur asked, putting his menu down on the edge of the table. They’d been here so many times before neither of them really needed to see it.

“Good. We finalised the latest line and are going to start recruiting models for the catalogue next week. Gwen’s roped Lancelot into it. But I’m not quite sure he’s got the look that we’re going for…”

Arthur shook his head. “Uh-uh. No. Not doing it. Look somewhere else for your models.”

Morgana laughed. 

“Oh, Arthur. You’re so full of yourself. I wasn’t thinking of you. I wanted Merlin!”

“Merlin!? But Merlin’s… _Merlin_ ,” Arthur spluttered, immediately thinking of Merlin’s complete lack of fashion sense. His long, gangly frame. The way his mop of dark hair almost never behaved...

Morgana placed her menu down on top of Arthur’s and smoothed her hand over her skirt. 

“Yes, Merlin. He’s exactly the kind of person we need. He’s tall, lean, _gorgeous_ , cheekbones to _die_ for, wouldn’t you say?”

Arthur sat back in his chair and shrugged. “I don’t know why you’d ask for my opinion.”

Raising an eyebrow, Morgana opened her mouth to speak when their server approached and took their order. Once he had left, Morgana resumed their conversation. 

“I think you know exactly why I’d ask you,” she told him pointedly. 

Shifting uncomfortably in his seat, Arthur raised his head and readied himself to look her in the eye and issue a denial.

As he met her gaze, she looked at him with kind eyes. “It’s okay, Arthur. You don’t have to lie to me.”

Something inside of Arthur shifted. Morgana could be a bit of a viper sometimes. But she was still his sister, and he knew she cared about him.

He bit his lip, his chin trembling. “I love him, Morgana,” he choked out. 

Morgana reached out to squeeze his hand as Arthur tried to blink back tears, swallowing against the lump in his throat. 

“There. That wasn’t so difficult now, was it?” she asked softly.

“I’ve made him hide it, Morgana. I asked him to stay with me even though I wasn’t ready. I’m not sure that I’ll ever be ready.”

“Well, you just told me, didn’t you? How did that go?”

Arthur pulled his hand away and shrugged, fiddling with his thumb ring. “Okay, I guess.”

“And how do you feel? Better or worse?”

“Better.”

Morgana smiled at him. “Well, there you go then.”

“But Father—” Arthur began.

“Is an old cankerous fool, and a homophobe to boot,” snapped Morgana. “But it’s not his business. He doesn’t need to know where you’re putting your dick, or where Merlin’s putting—”

“Morgana!”

“Fine,” she smirked. “But you know what I mean.”

Arthur twisted his ring as he asked hesitantly, “Who else knows?”

The server came and placed down their drinks with a promise to be back soon with their food.

“No one, as far as I know.”

“Not even Gwen?” Arthur asked, sure that Morgana must have at least discussed her suspicions with her.

Morgana shook her head. 

“Not unless she’s figured it out herself, like I did. You haven’t always been exactly subtle, the pair of you. What with the way he’s making himself at home in your apartment, staying the night and using your shower on the regular.” She stirred a spoonful of sweetener into her drink. “Merlin’s was better at subtlety, by the way.”

“What!? No way.”

With a laugh Morgana picked up her macchiato. “It would be sickening if you weren’t so cute together. Your eyes follow him around the room, you can’t stop yourself staring at his mouth, you—”

“I don’t!”

“You do. But it’s okay. I’m happy for you, Arthur. It’s nice to see you smitten, finally. And I approve of Merlin too.”

Arthur rolled his eyes. “I don’t need your approval of who I chose to date, Morgs.”

The server returned with their food, stalling their conversation as they both started to tuck in.

“So, have you told anyone else?” asked Morgana, breaking the silence.

Arthur gave her a sarcastic look. “Of course not.”

“So I’m the only one who knows!” she said gleefully.

“I didn’t say that.” 

Morgana raised a perfectly manicured eyebrow questioningly at him, until he told her; “Gwaine.”

“Gwaine knew before me!” she exclaimed.

Wiping his mouth with a servette, Arthur sighed. 

“It’s not like we wanted to tell him. He caught us off guard.”

“What I don’t understand is why even keep it a secret in the first place? Surely you know that your friends would all be happy for you, and if they aren’t then they’re not really your friends,” she pointed out. 

Arthur chewed his lip hesitantly. “I’ve dated so many women…”

“Plenty of people are bi. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

He shook his head. “No, you don’t get it Morgs. I’m not. I dated women because I was scared. Because I didn’t want to admit who I was to myself. Because I wanted to project an image to hide behind. I thought that I couldn’t be myself because of Father, because of the business, because of… society. Because of all the expectations on me. So how do I look them all in the face now having lied to them all like that?” 

He pushed his food around on his plate, no longer hungry. He’d deceived his friends for so long, hidden the truth away, made Merlin hide his secret too. Too scared, too worried about what people would think of him.

Morgana nudged at his leg with her foot, drawing his attention. 

“They’ll understand. There are plenty of people who stay in the closet for a long time. Some people never come out. Each person has their reasons and they all do what’s right for them. Besides, it’s not like you have to tell _everyone_. But I feel like you should at least let your closest friends know. If not for you, then for Merlin.”

“I—” Arthur began. He shook his head. Not able to speak the words he wanted. Theoretically, he knew everything that Morgana was saying was true, and Merlin certainly deserved it. Life would be so much easier for the both of them if they didn’t have to hide anymore. But he needed more time to digest and process everything. “I’ll think about it.”

***

Arthur threw his keys down on the table and slipped off his shoes.

“Hey,” called Merlin glancing over his shoulder at him from the sofa. “How’d your lunch with Morgana go?”

After hanging his coat up, Arthur went to join him. Sinking into the couch with a sigh.

“That good, huh?”

Arthur took a deep breath, staring unseeingly at whatever TV show Merlin had on the TV. He was just going to get it over with. 

“Morgana knows,” he said, before clarifying, “about us.”

“Oh.” Merlin shifted to turn and face him, tucking a leg under himself. “So, uh, how do you feel about that?”

An uncomfortable silence settled between them as Arthur struggled for the words to express himself. 

“Relieved, I think. It’s certainly not how I expected it to go,” he said, before adding sarcastically, “she gives us her seal of approval.”

Merlin laughed, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “That’s good to know.” He reached out and squeezed Arthur’s leg reassuringly. “I’m happy that she knows.” His eyes sought out Arthur’s hesitantly. “How do you feel about telling more people?”

Arthur swallowed and looked away, staring blankly at the TV screen which was still on. Merlin’s question made him feel sick to the stomach.

Next to him, Merlin shifted and let out a small sigh. He reached for the remote control on the table and started to rewind the show.

Arthur sat frozen in place as Merlin settled down again to watch his show.

He pushed away the lump in his throat until he was finally able to croak out, “I’m sorry.”

“S’okay,” Merlin replied quietly.

He reached out for Merlin’s hand, but Merlin pulled away and shifted so that he was sitting at the far end of the sofa, legs outstretched. Arthur tried again. He always found physical affection more easy to give than talking. He lifted Merlin’s feet into his lap and Merlin permitted it as they continued to watch in silence.

“Will you help me?” Arthur asked as he stroked the arch of Merlin’s foot.

Merlin looked over at him and frowned. “With what?”

“Coming out.”

Merlin sat up straighter. “I thought you didn’t want to.”

“I just… I’m worried about them judging me, after the way I used to be. And I just… I don’t _want_ it to be a big deal. I just— I wish it could be over with already. I wish it could be simpler.”

“Why can’t it?” Merlin asked. He licked his lips distractingly, Arthur’s eyes tracing every movement before he continued. “I can’t help but think that you’ve built this up in your head, over and over again until it’s become this big, huge thing. But it doesn’t have to be. You don’t owe anyone an explanation. You don’t need to do a big announcement. We could just… be together?”

Arthur stared at him as he tried to process what Merlin had said. It was an idea that had never even entered into his mind. He’d always thought that coming out involved some kind of big, elaborate announcement that you made to everyone. That you had to justify it. That it had to be _flamboyant_ , gay, somehow. The idea that he could skip all of that and just be openly himself without any fanfare was a completely foreign one.

“You really think we could do that?” 

Merlin gave him a small smile. “I don’t see why not. Besides, it’s not anyone’s business but ours. We’ve always said that. But this way, we’d just get to do whatever we wanted together, whenever we wanted. Without sneaking around.”

Arthur smirked and Merlin threw a cushion at him. “Shut up and get your mind out of the gutter.”

“No,” grinned Arthur. “I don’t think I will.” 

He waggled his eyebrows at Merlin and leaned across the sofa to pin him down. The feelings of dread he’d been having minutes before gone, almost the instant Merlin just suggested that they be themselves around others. 

Merlin looked up at him, biting his lip and looking gorgeous and Arthur felt his heart swelling with emotion. He captured Merlin’s lips with his, in a long, slow kiss. He started to roll his hips, smiling into the kiss as he felt the effect he was having on Merlin, even through his jeans.

“Shut up,” Merlin murmured against his lips. 

Arthur laughed as he deliberately and leisurely ground down against him. Merlin sighed, his hips arching up to meet Arthur’s.

“You’re insufferable,” he huffed. 

“You love it,” purred Arthur, pressing kisses to his neck. 

Merlin stretched out beneath him, gripping Arthur’s hips. Arthur continued to undulate casually above him. Revelling in the friction from their clothing against his erection. Merlin hooked a leg around his waist bringing them flush against each other, as Arthur used his leverage from above him to thrust and thrust. Merlin groaned, his head falling back, tendons of his neck straining.

Taking advantage of the opportunity, Arthur attacked. Sucking a love bite there, claiming Merlin as his. He’d never dared to before. Not wanting to leave either of them open to questions from others. But now, emboldened by their new decision, he could show Merlin was his.

Inhaling sharply, Merlin dug his fingers into Arthur’s back. 

“Ah, Arthur!” he breathily exclaimed.

Arthur licked and kissed at the mark before pulling away to admire his work. He shifted his weight onto one arm to run his fingers over it, and felt a surge of possessiveness ripple through him. He was always insanely jealous whenever anyone flirted with Merlin, but until now he’d been unable to chase any attention away. Unable to openly claim Merlin as his. Now, now he could, and it satisfied him.

He smiled and hummed happily.

Merlin slid a hand between them, flicking open the button of his jeans. Arthur paused to push them over Merlin’s hips before pinning him down again, giving him a thorough snog.

Fisting his hand through Arthur’s hair, Merlin tugged him closer, changing the angle of their kiss and taking control. Arthur groaned into the kiss. He loved how Merlin would give as good as he got. He knew any time that Merlin allowed him to domineer over him, it was because of exactly that: Merlin was allowing him to. Not because he couldn’t stand up for himself. Arthur would never do that to someone he didn’t think could stand up for themselves. But it was satisfying to know that the whole of their relationship was based on the fact that Merlin wanted to be with him. Merlin hardly would have put himself through all of the hiding and evasiveness and half-truths if not. 

Suddenly, Arthur found himself flat on his back, Merlin having broken off their kiss and leaning over him. His eyes were golden. Arthur swallowed, hard. That was another reason why Merlin couldn’t be pushed around. His magic was breathtaking and it had completely blind-sided Arthur. He hadn’t been proud of the way he’d reacted when he first found out. He hadn’t taken it well. But once he’d got his head around it, things had gotten better between them. Arthur wasn’t sure why Merlin had, in essence, taken him back after how badly he’d behaved. But he was glad that he did. 

“What are you thinking about?” Merlin asked him, his face wry with amusement.

Arthur reached up, smiling, smoothing his fingers across Merlin’s sinfully gorgeous cheekbones. 

“You,” Arthur said, honestly. “You’re beautiful.”

Colour spread across Merlin’s cheeks and he looked away, bashfully. Arthur continued to rub his cheek with his thumb until Merlin looked back at him with a huff and his cheeks dimpled with a smile. 

Arthur shifted underneath Merlin, trying to bring Merlin’s attention back to the task in hand. Merlin got the message loud and clear as he slowly, languidly ground back against him. His eyes flashed gold again and their clothing was gone. 

He groaned as Merlin’s cock slid against his, hot and hard. He could do this all day, every day. Just him and Merlin, with the feel of Merlin on top of him, or him on top of Merlin. No need for anything further. He reached up and threaded his fingers through the silky strands of Merlin’s hair, pulling him down for a kiss that was downright filthy. He didn’t know how to express to Merlin how much he’d fallen for him, how much he loved him, at least not in words. But with this he could express how he felt in touches, looks, feelings. And he knew Merlin would understand this weird language of his. And now that Arthur had made his mind up to come clean with their friends, he would finally be able to pay Merlin back for all his patience and understanding. He had a lot to make up for. 

Breaking away from their kiss, Merlin slid his hand between their bodies and wrapped his long, lean fingers around both their lengths.

“Fuck,” panted Merlin, pressing his forehead to Arthur’s as he worked his hand. 

Arthur moved with the motion and delicious friction of hot, hard velvet, Merlin’s cock, twitching against his own. He pushed up into the circle of Merlin’s fist, watching as a flush spread across Merlin’s cheeks and his lips parted with laboured breath. Arthur’s own breath shuddered as Merlin leaned down to capture his mouth in a kiss and he came with a groan, spilling hot and wet over Arthur’s chest, his cock throbbing his release against Arthur’s own. Merlin’s grip slackened as his orgasm crashed through him, slack-jawed and unfocused.

As he came back to the moment, he gripped Arthur’s cock again and within a few moments Arthur felt himself come apart in his hand, with a silent cry.

It took Arthur several moments before he could focus on Merlin’s face smiling over him. He pressed a kiss to Arthur’s lips then helped him off the sofa.

“Let’s go clean up.”

***

That Friday, they were due to go out with their mates. Merlin was working an early evening shift at the hospital but was bound to finish late, so they arranged to make their way to the pub separately as they usually would. Arthur was nervous. It had all been good and well talking with Merlin about coming out. And all good and well doing it casually. But now the moment, the night, had come, Arthur felt sick to his stomach. 

Fortunately, years of being Uther Pendragon’s son had given him the necessary skills to mask his discomfort in front of others and so he did his best to appear normal and relaxed. After a few drinks, he really did find himself relaxing and got drawn into a passionate debate with Percival over the football. He got so involved he completely missed Merlin’s arrival at the noisy pub.

“Hey,” said Merlin, throwing his coat over the back of the vacant chair next to Arthur. He leaned over Arthur’s shoulder and instinctively, Arthur turned his head and kissed him, before he turned back to his conversation with Percival. Merlin sunk down into his chair, looking dishevelled from his shift, but happy.

Percival and several others of their group did a double-take and Leon spoke.

“Did I miss something or did you and Merlin…? Are you…?”

“Together?” said Arthur.

“Yeah.”

Arthur glanced at Merlin, who looked back, his face a mixture of apprehension and hope. Arthur smiled at him. Not taking his eyes off him. “Yeah, we are.”

Merlin’s face bloomed with happiness and pride, and suddenly Arthur felt silly, ridiculous even, for ever thinking that this was going to be a difficult thing. He felt under the table for Merlin’s hand and gave it a tight squeeze.

“Drink?” he asked him.

“Sure.”

“The usual?” he asked as he started to get up from his chair.

Merlin nodded.

Arthur finally dared to look around the rest of the group who were watching their exchange with curiosity.

“Anyone else want anything?”

Gwaine raised his half-full pint. “I’ll have another if you’re buying.”

“Gwen, Lancelot, Leon? She-devil?”

“Haha,” said Morgana, sarcastically. “For that you can get me a bottle of Merlot. And not the cheap stuff, either.”

Arthur rolled his eyes. “Fine. Everyone else want their usual? I’ll be right back.”

He made a hasty retreat to the bar. Not wanting to hear what people were going to say next, but already pre-emptively planning his apology to Merlin for leaving him in the lurch. 

“Budge up,” said Merlin from behind him so that they were standing at the bar together. “Thought you might want some help carrying the drinks back. Also, I didn’t fancy waiting back there with the sharks.”

“Sorry.”

“S’fine. It didn’t go too badly though, did it?”

“We’ve still got to go back and face the Spanish inquisition,” sighed Arthur, paying for the drinks.

Merlin hastened to help him gather all the drinks. “Well, I thought it went pretty well,” he said. “And whatever questions they throw at us, we’ll face them together. Okay?” His eyes searched out Arthur’s trying to reassure him.

Arthur took a deep breath and straightened up with his hands full. “All right,” he agreed.

They returned back to the table and once everyone had their drinks, the questions began.

“So how long have the two of you been…” said Leon, hesitantly.

Merlin took a sip of his pint before replying for the both of them. “For a while.”

“I can’t believe you kept this from me!” said Gwen, swatting Merlin on the arm. “You and I are going to have a talk about this.”

Arthur looked uncomfortable. Merlin slid his hand onto his thigh and gave it a gentle squeeze.

“We just wanted a bit of time to just… enjoy each other's company,” said Merlin.

“Is that what they’re calling it now?” leered Gwaine. Percival snickered. 

“Shut up, Gwaine,” said Merlin and Arthur in unison.

“Oh god, they’re even talking together. You two are going to be insufferable, I can already tell!”

Then the conversation turned back to football and the latest Bake Off episode, the newness of their relationship having lost its shine. By the end of the evening, things felt a lot more like normal to Arthur, as they all staggered out of the pub, fairly inebriated and bracing themselves against the chill of the night.

Merlin and Arthur huddled close to each other. 

“Back to mine?” Arthur asked Merlin with a grin.

“Yeah,” said Merlin with a pleased smile. 

“God, they’re sickening, aren’t they?” said Gwaine to Percival.

Arthur gave Gwaine a gentle shove with his elbow. 

“Don’t worry about them,” Merlin told Arthur, tilting his chin haughtily. “They’re just jealous because they’re not getting laid tonight.”

“Yeah, yeah, rub it in,” said Percival, 

“That was low, Merls. Very low,” grumbled Gwaine.

Arthur threw back his head and laughed. “It’s okay, Gwaine. I’m sure you’ll get some soon.” He wrapped his arm around Merlin’s waist, pulling him close. “Just not as soon as us.”

As they parted ways Gwaine flipped them the bird while he walked away and Arthur shared a sloppy kiss with Merlin.

***

Once he’d unlocked the door, Arthur slipped off his coat and kicked off his shoes. As he was hanging up his coat, Merlin flipped him around and pinned him against the wall. He grinned at him with hooded eyes, Arthur could tell he was well on the way to being drunk. Merlin never could hold his drink.

“That wasn’t so bad, was it?” he asked Arthur as he nuzzled his neck. 

“Mm, yeah, it went even better than I thought it would.”

“Good,” murmured Merlin. “Thank you.”

Arthur cupped Merlin’s jaw, rubbing a thumb over his sharp cheekbone. “Should have done it sooner,” he admitted.

“Let’s not think about that,” said Merlin, walking backwards with Arthur. “Come to bed.”

“Oh, I’ll come all right,” Arthur laughed.


End file.
